NaNoWriMo 2009 Excerpt

Note: This was written for a 30 day, 50,000 word competition so I make no apologies for poor spelling, grammar or dialogue! This excerpt is presented "as is".

Context: The main character is Ari, a 17-year old human and Peter is his older brother. They have come to nearby village of Shindu with Yan to help him protect the women and children while most of the men are off on a major hunting expedition.

The fog rolled in, sweeping underneath Peter and Ari's feet. This was no ordinary fog. It was thick and hot to the touch, it was red and brown and it was above all other things smelly as all hell. It rolled through, seemingly from all directions and all areas, filling up the entire area. 

Ari looked at Peter "What's going on? What is this stuff?". Everything in the distance began to fade away, turning a gross color of orange. Soon they could only see a few buildings in front of them. They could no longer see the forest as it was smothered by a big tone of stuff of foggy orange gross ness. And Peter had nothing smart to say.

"I don't know Ari. This strikes me as very strange. We've got to stay close. Back up against me and we're going to find Yan and get out of here."

It was already get hard to see ahead of the everyone else, there was not much. Ari waved his hand in front of his face and realized that he was mostly just seeing foggy air swish in front of him. The smell, which was of rotten eggs and feces and just plain evil washed through his nostrils and assaulted his ofactory system. He tried to back up against Peter like Peter had asked him to do just one or two seconds ago, but it was not easy.

Ari shuffled, waving his arms in the air until he couldn't really see anything and he started walking backwwards, waving his arms wildly, until he hit something.

"hey, watch it bro. I'm right here." And so he was. Ari moved so his back was touching his brother's back. He could feel the cross bow as it was slung across the lower left of Peter's back. Ari was starting to sweat a little - not sure if coming onto to this trip was a good idea. Maybe I should have stayed at home he thought.

"Ok, so we're going to walk in Yan's direction, and yell out his name to see if he hears us and can get over to us." Peter said, begining to walk.

"Whoa, slow down," Ari said, "It's not that easy for me to walk backwards. Also, what if we can't find him?" 

"We can't find him in 10 minutes, we're going to go back towards the horses and get out of here." Peter said, "We'll ride back into our village, which this author keeps forgetting the name of, and go back and make sure that everyone is safe, especially mom and dad. We'll pack up everything and head towards the City, that big city that everyone knows about. Is it the Royal City? Yeah, maybe its called that. Again we're not sure."

Ari sensed a little bit of a hesitation in his brother's voice, more than really he had ever heard fro him before. Was Peter afraid? Because that could only be a bad thing at this point. He had never seen or heard in this case because they couldn't really see anything, his brother sound nervous or scared. It just didn't happen. He was more than a little worried.

They began to shuffle, awkwardly, as a mismatched unit. Peter, strong and muscular, leading the way, with Ari, lanky and tall, shuffling behind him like a wagon that was not properly attached to the oxen.

"YAN! YAAAAAAN! It's Peter and Ari! Can you HEAAAR us?" Peter bellowed. ""YAN! YAAAAAAN! It's Peter and Ari! Can you HEAAAR us?" Peter again with Ari a second time.

They continued this for a while, shuffling in what Peter thought was the direction of Yan. It had been what felt like to Ari maybe an hour before Peter said. "Ok, we should probably turn back." and then they heard it.

A barely audible sound. Not quite totally clear. But then it repeated itself - and Ari and Peter could both hear it quite clearly this time.

"Peter! Ari! Help!"

It was Yan.

"Could you tell where that was coming from?" Peter asked.

"No, could you?" Ari replied.

"I think it came from the in front of us." Peter said, "I can't tell though if that's north or south. The fog is not only making it hard to see, but hard to hear as well. I don't know if it is coming from what direction anymore so this makes things definitely more than just a little bit difficult you know? Who can tell. this is definitely a problem we are going to have to address really soon or else I'm not sure how we're going to be able to find Yan or the goddamn horse. Who knows if they have bolted already."

"Maybe ... maybe do you think we should go and try to find the horses now? Yan's voice seemed pretty far away." Ari said, squinting into the fog. He could barely make out a building that was right in front of him. This was a challenge.

"No, we are not going to ditch that guy. Yan. We aren't ditching him. We need to find him and we will. We just have to head in h is generally direction for a little while." Peter said resolutely, "Even if they were the ones who abandoned us those many years ago, it makes it even more important that we go find him because if we don't we will just have done the same to him. A warrior of the king does not leave those hes been entrusted to serve behind."

So they trudged on, going towards the sound of Yan. 

"Hey Yan! Try to walk towards us! Yan! Can you hear us Yan? Walk towards the sound of our voice!" They yelled and hollered and strained their voices trying to get the crap out of the sound and make sure that Yan would reunite with us.

To their happy surprise, Yan could hear them and responded. "Ok! I will try. I'm coming over to you!"

They called back and forth to each other, and Yan's voice started getting louder. Ari was starting to feel a little better. "Yan, do you know what's going on with this fog?"

"The fog has been coming into our village at night for the past few months but it was never this bad and never at night. The smell was never this bad either."

"Do you know why it could be happening now during the day?" Ari asked, "Do you think there is a chance that this is related to the attack on your village somehow?"

"Perhaps. But what tribe has the power to create this kind of a fog? There are few forces that can interact with nature in such a strong way." Yan said, his voice sounding only a few yards away, "But when you mention it, the fog was especially strong the night of the attack."

"Were you able to find where the women were?" Peter asked

"Well, I did find the shelter." Yan said, hesitatingly, "But..." he trailed off.

"But what?" Peter asked.

And at that moment their conversation was interuppted by a deep loud growl. It was menancing and deep and guttural. Like a huge dog or an angry, but louder and more angry - and more human sounding.

"What is that?" Ari asked, alarmed.

"I don't know. Get your sword out Ari." said Peter, and Ari hear the "shink" sound of his brother unsheathing his sword.

"I know that sound!" cried Yan, "Our attackers are near! Be-aaaugh!"

A stomping noise shook the ground beneath them and a roar erupted through the air. A sickening sound of a something hitting a leather flank very hard. Ari saw a glimpse of something big and dark red sweep through the fog.

"Devils! You will not defeat our tribe this easily! I will get you. you will not" Ari heard Yan scream, A stabbing noise and a groan emerged, "Ha!"

Then Ari saw it. Emerging from from the big orange smoke was a big creature, nearly 7 feet tall and muscular with huge forearms that were covered in hair and meaty giant hands that lead to clawed trolls. In one hand there was a thick club of gnarled wood. A mountain troll.

"Peter, behind you!" Ari cried, barely able to hold his sword, his legs suddenly feeling incredibly weak.

Peter turned around, and without hesitation, charged the troll. The creature saw Peter coming and took a giant swipe at Peter's head. Peter ducked, slicing at the creature's left tree-trunk sized leg. Black blood began pouring out of the wound.

The creature roared and took a step back. Behind him, Ari could still hear Yan battling with the other troll. Ari looked around, trying to see if there was any others. He couldn't tell.
a"Ari! Get out your damn crossbow!" Peter yelled, slashing again at the troll. The troll blocked his swing with the wood and the sword got stuck inside.
Ok so Peter had just taken a big slice at the wood. The troll pulled on his club, and tried to yank away the sword that was stuck on the club. Peter was not going to let that happen. He held on and got pulled along with the troll. The trool, beared his teeth wide, revealing rows upon rows of sharp teeth and growed, his yellow eyes flashed with anger. 

Ari, meanwhile, fumbled as he tried to notch an arrow onto the cross bow but kept slipping, his hands fumbling as he tried to align the thicker base end into the bottom of the slot. Finally it clicked in, securded inside the bow. Ari then tried to draw back the string which would fire the arrow. It was tight. It was hard for Ari to pull. (Damn these weak arms of mine) he thought to himself. Putting the bow onto the ground, Ari stepped on the handle and yanked on the bowstring until finally it locked into place.

Ari turned to look at his brother, triumphant in this small task. Peter was now on the back of the troll, bashing at its head. His sword was still stuck in the wooden club and the troll tried to reach back and Peter, but its arms were not flexible enough to reach him. 

"Take a shot!
" Peter yelled, "Take a shot at the damn beast!"

Ari tried to aim the cross bow at the troll but it was moving around violently, clearly more annoyed than hurt at Peter's banging of its head. "I don't know if I can! I don't want to hit you! Yikes!" he cried. His arm was quaking as he tried to hold the crossbow up.

Just then, the troll was able to grab a hold of Peter's leg and yanked him off of the troll's back and slammed him on to the ground. Whoosh. Peter's breath was wiped out of him completely and he tried to gasp.

The troll brought its club up to the sky, preparing to swing it down onto Peter's still near choking body when Ari was able to line up the cross hairs with the giant troll and he pulled the trigger.

BAM. The arrow flew straight into the left side of the troll's stomach and it groaned, staggering backwards. It dropped the club on the ground and Peter then scrambled up to retreive his sword. He pulled it out of the club and thrust his sword deep into the the trolls right side. The troll, bleeding from multiple wounds, fell to the ground with a deep loud thud.

"Nice work bro!" You totally save my ass back there. I really needed the support and you came through. Thank you" Peter said, slapping Ari, still shaken from the encounter, on the back. "Let's go find Yan."

"Yeah... Yeah, no problem." Ari managed to get out as they walked, this time side by side, leanring the lesson from before. He stared down at the ground. He shook his head, he couldn't believe he had helped take down that troll. "I just wish I had been able to do something like that while during the Great Tests" he said finally, dropping his head down. The shame from messing  up his physical challenge still really hurt.

"Not to worry. Yeah, you blew it big time for the past two years, but you are going to get it this time. I know it." Peter's support advice was cut short as they came aross a tied up and gagged Yan. He looked like he was passed out, not awake at all.

Peter ran over and started to shake Yan's shoulders quickly. "Hey, wake up!" Yan's eyes flew open suddenly and he shook and began to shake and scream silently underneath his gag. "HMM! HMM!"